Friendship

Friendship is a splendid thing when things are going good. When you have really good friends and things go bad or you have a disagreement then it makes you question, "Do I really want to be friends with this person? They are soooooo full of drama". Those that sorta know me, would describe me differently than my really close friends. I have very few close friends because letting people in and having them see the real you can be a cause for disaster and losing them. That's why I don't let many people in. I am irrational and emotional and I tend to get moody. Most people don't want to deal with this side of me and just prefer to not associate with me when I get this way. So with that said, you find out very quickly who your true friends are. YOu know the ones that say, "hey jackass, you're being a dick". or "when you get over yourself, I'm here". They are not afraid to let you know when you are acting a fool, but they love you despite your quirks and then they enjoy your company when things are good.

I hope everyone is lucky enough to have at least one person like this in their life. Someone who will put up with you at your worst and still be your friend.

Eye Candy

Somtimes, all we need is a little eye candy to brighten up an otherwise dull, dreary day. I know that men seem to catch a lot of hell for ogling women, but c'mon ladies. We're just as bad, if not worse. So, on this Earth Day let's take the time to appreciate the fine men who walk this planet. I have no idea who is in the photo above, but who cares? The photo below is Gilles Marini in my bed. ~J

I'm in the wrong damn business!

I know there's probably some type of moral or ethical argument to this, but I'm pretty sure I'm in the wrong business. I recently read of a prostitution gig that was busted in this area, and after further investigation I discovered that the going rate for a blow job can be up to $500.
Seriously??!! $500 dollars?? I'm thinkin' 3 BJ's a week, momma could sit at home in her FANCY new crib. I mean, how much time do you think this would take? Let's just say a max of an hour total for 3 BJ's! When you do the math; $1500 x 4 = $6,000 a month for four hours of work. Yeah, yeah, I know it's illegal and all of that but the trick is not getting caught, right? See, when you do the math I bet you think you're in the wrong business too!

Disgusting Habits

Disgusting habits: We all have them. No, I'm not going to go into a long list of my own personal foul tendancies; however I do plan to publicly ridicule others who do.

Let me tell you about an old boss I had when I worked in Fort Worth. He actually wasn't my immediate supervisor but he was one of THE bosses I had to answer to from time to time. He was one of those goody goody types that would talk to you in a condescending manner and try to make you feel like you were not worthy to be in his presence. He had his nice moments..probably because he got a hooker before he came into work and she sucked the life out of him; tends to make men chill out I suppose.

One day, a company was coming in to clean the carpets in the building so we all had to pick up our chairs and place them upside down on our desks before we left for the weekend. The aforementioned boss was out of the office that day so it was up to one of the secretaries to make sure his chair was turned upside down on his desk. Guess what? Seems Ho Boy had a nose picking problem. The underside of his chair was COVERED in boogers. The bottom was filled with green, dry, crusties! He had tissues in his office but I guess he didn't know how to use them. From that day on, his new secret name was booger boy. When he came back to the office the following Monday, he was greeted with his chair upside down on his desk and three additional boxes of tissue placed on the bottom of the chair. Think he got the hint?

So there's my disgusting boss story. Do you have one?

Okay, fine! You happy now?

Apparently, I'm witty/funny/ or just full of enough crap, that a few people I work with seemed to think I needed to do my own blog. In fact, they suggested that I take it a step further and use it as a "Dear Abby" type of thing for people to ask me a question and give them my solution to their problems. I'm sure I've probably got to put some sort of disclaimer on here somewhere stating that my advice is purely for entertainment and not for someone to actually do. The last thing I need is someone busting a cap in my ass cause I told them to push their mother in law off a bridge into a swamp full of alligators because she's a meddling, wart infested, bloated, sow.

So get to it! Give me the chance to intrigue you..or make you do something deliciously naughty. ~"Spicey"